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from Unravelled by Acacia Sears

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lyrics

When I had mine, the hardest was the crying
and you may find this surprising,
but the easiest was the blood
and I can't say what it would be like for you
all that I can say is how it was for me

when I found out, of course I had my doubts
of course I had them, I think most people do
but in the end I couldn't make a decision
and I'm so ashamed to admit that I had to make him choose

and the things that hit the hardest are the questions we can't answer
like "who would you have been?"
and are there any solid causal relationships,
or is this just one of those terrible things that happens?
If I had behaved like a better person
would we still have come to this
each action has an equal and opposite reaction
but this act is my act of contrition

And I had time to think about it, and trust I did
I thought about it long and hard before I got it over with
there was a week when I could barely breathe and hardly speak
and then hours in a tiny room with dozens of other people
people just like me
people just like you

now I'm afraid of everyone I know
is there a rock in their back pocket and are they the type to throw
my whole life shouldn't have to revolve around one bad decision
but where does penance come from?
when will I be done with my contrition?

I'm still not I'm still not I'm still not I'm still not....
I'm still not ok
but I know I did the right thing anyway

credits

from Unravelled, released January 18, 2015

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about

Acacia Sears Baltimore, Maryland

melodic acoustic poetic

Acacia Sears is a Baltimore-based singer songwriter whose work is rooted in true life stories, thick with metaphor and imagery, percussive while being poetic. She has released two indie rock albums and one children’s album, and is preparing to record her next indie rock album in the Spring of 2024. ... more

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